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by Sparrow
Overheard on the Bus
“We used to be Republicans, but now we believe the chaotic improvisations of Donald Trump.”
Rumors
The rumors that
Donald Trump has
a prosthetic anus
(made of gold)
are false.
Ode to Donald Trump
Donald Trump is
a bit of a grump.
He’s not thin;
he’s plump,
with a big
round rump.
Like Forrest Gump
he lands with a thump;
tireless as a pump,
though his shoulders slump.
If there were many
Donald Trumps,
they might all
have the mumps,
but there is just one –
so this song is done.
After the Revolution
After
the
revolution,
the
People
will
shout
to
Donald
Trump:
“You’re fired!”
Homework Assignment
1) Queens is the most multiethnic place in the USA.
2) Trump — who’s from Queens — is an absolute racist.
3) Explain.
Donald Trump Has Taught Us
Instead of kings
we’re ruled by
pugnacious
toddlers.
Donald Trump
He is a cad, alack,
In a Cadillac!
Capitalism
Capitalism lets cruel,
heedless men rule the earth,
while every good person is poor.
Have you ever noticed that?
Trump, Father and Son
When Donald Trump was a child,
his father’d beat him mercilessly
every Thursday, shouting, “You
must be strong! Never weaken!
I don’t want a sissy for a son!
I want a man! A man! A man!”
Each time he repeated “a man,”
Frederick Christ Trump would
punch his young son’s face.
Song
O Donald
Trump, you
have
broken
my spirit.
I lie in
bed
aghast
at your
impudent,
fierce
Reich.
Letter to Trump
Your double-
combover
doesn’t
fool me.
Beneath it
you’re
bald as
a breast.
Axiom
Occasionally,
Americans
must
re-fight
the
Civil War.
Now is
one of
those
fucking
times.
Trump Era Bodhisattvic Vow
Republicans without number, I vow to convert them all.
Anxieties and hatreds, I vow to overcome them all.
True political analyses, I vow to learn them all.
The path of heroes, I vow to walk!
Letter to Trump
The USA
began as
a revolt
against
a vain,
delusional
oligarch.
It can
happen
again!
The New Administration
Trump is surrounding himself
with Nazis and pigs.
Doesn’t that make you nervous?
Exit Polls Show
The
vast
majority
of
devout
Christians
hate
immigrants.
Dear Mr. Trump
Hatred is not a joke.
Racism isn’t comedic.
Beating up protesters is
not a sport, like ice hockey.
The Trump Clan
One son is a Nazi;
the son-in-law is an Orthodox Jew.
Thanksgivings must be fun!
O Donald Trump
I’m sick of
trying to
decide if
you’re a
real fascist
or just a
vain buffoon;
you’re
probably
both: a
clown-Nazi!
Explosion
The Bible
blew up in
my face.
Killed by Donald Trump
Glenn Frey
Paul Kantner
David Bowie
Prince
Leonard Cohen
Before He’s Even Inaugurated
Let
the
revolt
begin!
Confession
It’s an
evil
thought,
but I’d
like to
grab
Donald
Trump
by the
pussy!
260
I’m anti-Trump! Who are you?
Are you — anti-Trump — too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! they’d advertise — you know!
How dreary — to be — Trump!
How public — like a Frog —
To tell one’s name — the livelong June —
To an admiring Bog!
Meaningless Slogan
Dollars
trump
pence.
Advice to Our President
1) Visit a Zen monastery.
2) Spend six hours in silence.
3) Ask yourself over and over, “Who is Donald Trump?”
4) Flush your iPhone down the toilet.
5) Build a grass hut.
6) Listen to birdsong.
7) DO NOT START A NUCLEAR WAR!
Dear Mike Pence
If you
see
Donald
Trump
reach
for the
Red
Button,
stab
him
with a
penknife!
Public Warning
The Deplorables have
left the Basket & are
racing down the street!
Wish
If
only
a nine-
word
poem
could
stop
Trump!
The Call
There is one way
to defeat Trump:
shamanic
whispering.
Before Trump’s Inauguration
In
desperate
times
like
these,
it
helps
to
play
Duck-
Duck-
Goose.
Comparison
I am
more
ethical
than
Donald
Trump,
but so
is a sea
anemone!
Inside the Minds of 12 Million Voters
What
the
hell
was I
thinking
— that
Hillary
reminded
me of
my fourth
grade
teacher?
Now
I’ve
destroyed
Medicaid!
Surprise
We all
knew
there
were
lots
of
bad
white
people
in
America,
but
who
knew
they
were
so bad,
and
so
white?
Two Slogans
1) Love Trumps Hate.
2) Trump Loves Hate.
Scary Vision
The
eye
above
the
pyramid
on the
dollar
bill
is
closing.
Strategy
If only
there
were a
signal
we could
flash
in the
sky to
summon
Obama!
Prophecy
Howard Zinn is
shouting
from Heaven:
“Organize! Resist!
Obstruct! Sing!”
Alternative Fact
Trump
is so
dangerous,
Frederick
Douglas
has come
back to
life!
Homespun Wisdom
Some
men are
fun to
date
but
horrible
to marry;
one of
them
is now
President.
Haiku
Trump “gooses”
women, while
goose-stepping.
Syntax Lesson
“President Trump”
is an oxymoron.
Affirmation
Every day
that Trump
doesn’t
blow up
the world
is a lucky
one.
Queer Theory
If we
must
build
a 2000
mile
wall,
let’s
make
it
pink!
Sad Truth
Trump
has
never
wept.
Strange Fact
Trump Tower is modeled on the Tower of Babel.
Dear Donald Trump
In this
poem
I throw
feces
in your
face,
though
unfortunately
in real
life
I have
not yet
done
so.
Strange Fact
When Steve Bannon passes by a mirror, there’s no reflection.
Trump
Trump is
a drug
to
stupefy
the poor.
Warning
Hey, Trump!
Watch out!
The New
York
Times is
tenacious!
They’re harder
to destroy than
American
democracy!
Top Secret
Hey, Trump!
I have my
own
alternative
facts!
One of
them is:
you were
sent here
from the
planet
Exglani
to destroy
us!
Dear Resistance
We must
hurry!
Trump
wants to
provoke a
terrorist
attack,
then
declare
martial
law.
We must
show
everyone
what a
scumbag
he is,
before
that can
happen!
Trump As Second Baseman
Poor Trump!
He’s in a slump!
“Strike three!”
yells the ump.
Hair
Trump’s
hair
transplants
are
almost
as creepy
as his
politics!
Thesis
Ten years of
fake news
becomes
fake history.
New Strategy
“They go
low, we
go high”
didn’t
work so
great.
Now I
go low.
Trumpcare
ain’t
no
care
at
all.
Prayer
Each
morning,
Trump
prays to
Satan:
“Lord,
increase
my rage &
contempt!”
Trump
wants to
replace the
Affordable
Care Act
with the
Unaffordable
Fuck You
Act.
Definitions
trompe l’oeil: illusion in art
Trump l’oeil: illusion in politics
Syria
Syria
is so
complex,
most
PhD
topologists
don’t
understand
it. Only
an idiot
like
Trump
thinks
he does!
A Letter
Dear President (?) Trump:
It’s not
nice
to drop
bombs.
Love,
Sparrow
Trump’s Cabinet
“Deplorables” is
too nice a word
to describe them.
Proverb
When a
President
feels
frustrated,
he bombs
the Middle
East.
Political Analysis
Those
addicted
to opioids
also
vote for
Trump.
Trump
is the
OxyContin
of American
politics.
Thanks, Internet!
Somewhere
on the
Internet
all of
Trump’s
lies are
“proven”
to be true.
Concrete Poem
PUTIN
PUT IN
TRUMP
Fake News?
It turns
out the
news
is real
and the
President
is fake.
Sorry, Mr. Trump
Melania
don’t wan’ ya!
Confession
If he
wasn’t
destroying
my nation,
I’d pity
Trump.
Question
Trump calls
real news
“fake news,”
but does he
dare to call
real poetry
“fake poetry”?
Trump’s Logic
“Why
should
the
Poor
go to
doctors?
To live
longer?”
Error Message
The Founding Fathers
distrusted democracy —
and were wrong.
Democracy
elected Hillary.
Jesus Told Me
All you
Born-
Again
Christians
who
voted
for
Trump
are
going
to
Hell!
Literary Critique
The worst
poem
is better
than Trump’s
best tweet.
Manifesto
“Libtard” is the
stupidest insult
since “pantywaist.”
Sparrow plays ocarina in the non-Euclidean pop band Foamola. He wrote for us recently on Bazooka Joe Comics and their fortunes. Follow him on Twitter (@Sparrow14). How to Survive the Coming Collapse of Civilization (And Other Helpful Hints) is available from our Pushcart.
